The Objects In Your Window May Be Closer Than They Appear

If you've stumbled on this page, then you've reached my home. Here, you'll be able to find all you've ever wanted to know about me. You'll also find out everything you wish you never knew. Like my infatuation with food. My love for the art of writing and the art of music. As well as countless other items of useful knowledge. I say useful because one day, when I'm famous, you'll be quizzed by the producers of the E! True Hollywood Story. They'll offer you lots of money to dish about Christopher Turner and how "you knew him when." Then, you'll see me on Celebrities Uncensored as I'm pursued by the paparazzi, a gorgeous young lady in one arm and a box of Cookie Crisp in the other.

Sure, Chris, you say, you're trying to be funny. You don't really like Cookie Crisp. BASTARDS! I say. I love Cookie Crisp. Anything with cookies actually.

Cookie Crisp, Cookie Dough. Cookie Fondue, Cookies n' Cream, Cookie Ice Cream Pops, Cookie the Dog, Cookie Cah-Bobs! (Mmmmm...I wish they made Cookie Kababs. I'd eat them all the time. God I love cookies!)

Anyhoozle, let me give you the guided tour. If you look to your left, my right, you'll see a nice little section of buttons (mmm buttons...they're probably tasty cookies). These buttons will take you to various places throughout my site. For instance the picture of me as a baby will take you to EVERYTHING YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ME BUT WE'RE AFRAID TO ASK! And so on and so on...
So I hope you enjoy the site. You're going to learn a lot. I'll quiz you later.
UPDATED!!!

They Call It a Blog Update: 10/01/03
He Sings update: 09/20/03
He Writes update: 09/16/03
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